OK, THIS IS A LITTLE FREAKY . . .

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Perchlorate.
Perchlorate who?
Perchlorate, in your breast milk.
What the - ?

And why do we feel like this is the kind of story we're going to see again (and again) very soon?

AND SINCE NOTHING IS WORSE FOR A CHILD'S SELF-ESTEEM THAN A POP QUIZ, THEY OUGHT TO BAN THOSE, TOO

Tag and duck, duck, goose are under fire at schools across the country, as gym teachers switch their mission from building character to fighting obesity. The problem with so many of the old games is that they eliminate kids, the experts now say, unfairly leaving only those kids who actually give a damn about the result on the field, while forcing less interested kids to sit on the sidelines thinking creative thoughts.

Dodge ball is, of course, also on the way out, since, as the National Association for Sport and Physical Education told the Wall Street Journal, "being hit by a hard-thrown ball does not help kids to develop confidence." Maybe not, but it can be educational. We remember learning in seventh grade how a hard-thrown red rubber ball could enter one side of our face, pass through, and exit the other side, with only mild concussive effects.

YOU SEE, HERE'S WHY THIS IS SUCH A GREAT COUNTRY

We have a First Lady willing to travel the nation offering a "Passport to Manhood" to as many young men as are willing to step up and receive it. (Hey, the White House came up with that name, not us.) This young boy looks hesitant, but we're sure Mrs. Bush took him by the hand, looked into his eyes, and assured him, "Now, don't you fret, sweet boy. Momma's gonna take care of every little thing."

February 25, 2005 | Permalink | Subscribe to RSS

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